I’ve been heard many times saying that marriage is meant to make us holy more than it’s meant to make us happy. But let me be honest — this phrase isn’t originally mine. I borrowed it from the incredible book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.
You see, for some strange reason, I had a deep desire to understand the mystery of marriage, especially once I found myself living it. I realized that marriage, like any other institution, has a founder — and for any institution to succeed, we must move in line with the vision of its founder.
The founder of marriage is none other than God — God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. Our God, being three in one, perfectly knows love, unity, and covenant. That’s why I made it my mission to learn about marriage as God designed it, not as culture paints it.
Together with my husband, we committed to studying and practicing what we learned about God’s plan for marriage. So much so that at one point, people accused us of idolizing marriage. Shall we blame them? Absolutely not! If anything, I would rather be “accused” while investing in understanding marriage the same way I’ve invested years studying biology, finance, and psychology.
A Fresh Revelation About Christian Marriage
This brings me to my latest discovery (yes, I am a wide reader). Recently, we opened our home to host a Bible study group. We decided to start with the Book of John since our church has been walking through it this year.
Little did I know that God would teach me something brand new about marriage — something I simply can’t keep to myself.
Here’s a teaser:
Did you know John the Baptist was the best man — the friend of the bridegroom?
And do you know who the bridegroom is?
That’s right — Jesus!
John 3:29 (AMP)
“He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands by and listens to him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. So this pleasure and joy of mine is now complete.”
Have you ever watched Before the Wrath? If not, please do! It beautifully explains Jewish wedding customs and shows how deeply they mirror Christ’s relationship with the Church. Jesus, our Bridegroom, is coming back for His Bride — you and me.
When He told His disciples that He was “going to prepare a place” for them (John 14:2-3), they understood it perfectly — because it echoed the marriage traditions of their time!
Marriage and Baptism: A Beautiful Parallel
While studying John, another word kept popping up: Baptism. John the Baptist baptized people — but it’s not the act itself that caught my attention. It’s what baptism means.
Baptism is an outward sign of an inward decision.
First, we believe and accept Christ inwardly — then, we are baptized outwardly to show the world that we belong to Him.
And here’s where the powerful connection to marriage hit me.
When two people fall in love, there’s an inward confession of love — feelings that are deeply personal. But there comes a time when those feelings are not meant to remain hidden. Just like our faith, love demands an outward sign.
Yet today, culture tries to convince us otherwise. We hear phrases like “Usipost mpoa wako” (don’t post your partner) — implying that hiding love is wisdom.
But friends, love — true covenant love — was never meant to be hidden. Just like faith without baptism feels incomplete, love without a public commitment feels unfinished.
If marriage is meant to make us holy, if our lives are supposed to be a blueprint of God’s Kingdom, if God has placed eternity in our hearts — shouldn’t we take this seriously?
Marriage needs an outward sign.
It’s not enough to feel love inside. It must be professed publicly, with witnesses.
That’s why we have weddings.
(And no, a wedding doesn’t need to be extravagant — but that’s a conversation for another article.)
You Can’t Separate the Inside From the Outside
It’s not enough to whisper “Jesus, I love you” inside your heart. Your life must show it.
Similarly, it’s not enough to say, “We love each other, that’s all that matters.”
Love demands action. It demands a visible sign.
You cannot have the inside without the outside.
You cannot have the outside without the inside.
Both must exist for love to be complete — in your faith, and in your marriage.
One day, we will lift our eyes and watch the Bridegroom — Jesus Christ — returning for His Bride.
Until then, let’s live our love boldly, let’s honor marriage as God intended, and yes — celebrate your love with a wedding
